The Piano Guys - Beethoven's 5 Secrets - One Republic

The Piano Guys - Titanium / Pavane

I absolutely love this version of the song.

Mum Run challenge part 2 - Top Gear - BBC

Mum Run challenge part 1 - Top Gear - BBC

This has got to be one of my most favourite Top Gear challenges to date.

Rascal Flatts - I'm Moving On.

Every time I listen to this song, I miss my ex. But it's still a good song. Luckily, we're still good friends.

Change

Change. I always thought I was pretty good at adapting to it. Always... until recently. There've been changes in this household which I've been having a difficult time adjusting to.

Change 1: For a few months I've become close to the Smurf. She's become a buddy who I've been able to talk to about anything and everything (pretty much) and she's also been my gym buddy. She used to come over almost every day and dinners with her used to be the thing I looked forward to at the end of the day. At least talk didn't always have to always revolve around work, since she's not in the same industry. And she had the key to the house so she used to pop over whenever she felt like it, like how Nic does. And it was real nice cos that's the whole concept of what this home was all about. Having people comfortable enough to come and go as they please. You know... the family that you chose for yourself.

Change 2: Jac and Cheryl split. After 9 years, Jac decided to call it quits. She's now with Smurf. Cheryl's having a hard time accepting the change in status. They're still friends... best friends, just not a couple.

Change 3: Jac and the Smurf are now together. I actually find that a good thing. Cos the Smurf really likes Jac and apparently vice versa. But it doesn't sit well with Cheryl so she's banned from this house. At least... when Cheryl's around. Fair enough; it's hard to see your ex going out with someone you used to call a friend (Cheryl... not me). I know Cheryl feels betrayed, somewhat. But that also means that I'm left without a friend to hang out with now, since Jac and the Smurf tend to go out more... to her place or out with Kim or with Jac's yoga friends.

I know I sound self-centred but now, I don't have a regular dinner kaki and I've lost my gym partner as well. Why? Well... the Smurf's pissed off with Cheryl for some reason. And she doesn't know whether it's cos I resemble her (Cheryl) or what but... she's kinda begun to resent me as well. It's come to a stage where she can't even talk to me face-to-face anymore. And THAT... hurts like hell.

The thing is... i can see things from an outsider's view of things. It's supposed to be a triangle (Smurf, Jac and Cheryl) but I feel involved too cos I'm not in a relationship with any of them but Cheryl is my sis, I should side her. But I also know that the break up was kinda like her fault. So I can see how the new relationship is a good thing for Jac and the Smurf. And they're my friends. From an outsider's point of view, I can see a lot of things but it seems like when I try to mediate to diffuse the tension that's in the house, things tend to either not change, or get worse. And for what I see, I'm not allowed to be angry.

This change, with Jac and the Smurf hardly around anymore, and with the Smurf not being able to talk to me anymore... hurts so bad. I know that in the big scheme of things, my problem isn't as big as other peoples' problems. It's nothing tragic. Yet I can't seem to get over it. It's always on my mind and the more I try to get it out of my mind and tell myself things will get better eventually, I dunno. I just can't get over this. I know it's a small problem but to me, it's a big one. To me. And I just don't know how to cope. I know it's not about me. I know. So I've been trying to deal with it by internalising things. Not doing very well. And at nights, I can't sleep very well so I end up going to work sleepy although it seems that I'm heading off to sleep early. And I can't eat. There are days when I can go without eating ANYTHING while on better days, I can only stomache a meal a day.

I know that things will never be the same again but I just wish that things will get better soon. I wish... that the Smurf will eventually be able to talk to me like she used to before and understand that I've backed off and am not as clingy or whatever like I used to be. When it used to be me and her going for dinner and Jac was hardly with us. Just like gym. I wish... that Cheryl will be able to eventually talk civil to the Smurf and be able to treat Jac like what she is now... just a best friend. If she can handle things, she'll be able to realise that if she wants Jac to be home more, she'll need to be able to be civil with the Smurf. And if she can 'unban' her from this house, then Jac will probably stay home more with the Smurf in tow. Then things may be able to go back to what it was before. At least for now, I can see that the Smurf IS putting in a little effort. I've stopped asking her out for dinner or expecting to be able to go to the gym with her. I've begun to accept that I'll be gyming alone. She's initiated texting me. And has started off with suggesting that we go back to the initial mode of communication: MSN. At least, it shows that she's trying. That's different from what Cheryl predicted: that now that she has what she wants (Jac), I can expect that I'll be cast aside like an unwanted item. At least, she's proven Cheryl wrong in that aspect. Which is good cos I have believed that that's not her. I told myself to see the good in people and was fighting the feeling that Cheryl might be right.

I wish, I wish, I wish. I wish things could be back to what it was before, when this was a happy home with no tension between anyone. I realise now that if I were to list any resolutions for the new year, it'll have to be these two things:

- I will need to learn to keep my mouth shut. If I see anyone doing or saying something that's potentially going to get someone's feelings hurt... I shall shut up. Cos if I try and tell the person to be careful, if they can't see it yet, they're gonna think I'm trying to start a fight or see me as meddling.

- I'll have to learn to be as void of emotion as I possibly can. Aloof as possible. Why? Because emotions cause problems. They complicate things. They make you feel happy when you become fond of people. Then you get comfortable. Then you let your guard down. Then when they leave, all you're left with is anger, hurt and depression. All not worth it.

Yoda

I'm in a good mood today. You can tell by the things I'm pulling up from youtube.

Tim

Meet Tim; our housekeeping colleague from our Hong Kong property.

This is the first time I've seen him in this state, and frankly, I'm not surprised at all. For the week that I was there about a month or so ago, he was very much of an Eveready battery; always on the go. He'd usually be the first person in the office and almost the last one out (the last ones being those of us who were staying inhouse). I've been told that even when there was a typhoon warning and people weren't supposed to go outdoors, he'd still come to work.

So.. ya. I'm not surprised that Cheryl put this vid together.

Hitler and the ERP

Got this through email. Whoever thought of this has a damn good sense of humour.

My Wish - Rascal Flatts

I've always been big on friends. They mean the world to me, regardless whether the feeling is mutual. So it pains me to see any of them hurting.

This song has been on my mind lately. In some ways, it says what I wish I could say...if I ever had the guts to. Which would be... oh... never.



My Wish - Rascall Flatts

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you wanna go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile.
But more than anything, more than anything...

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but you never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And always give more than you take.
But more than anything, yeah, more than anything...

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish. Yeah, yeah.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish (my wish, for you).

This is my wish (my wish, for you)
I hope you know somebody loves you (my wish, for you).
May all your dreams stay big (my wish, for you).